disagreement regarding zombies...
So I was having an intellectual discussion ( as intellectual as I can possibly muster up) regarding the feasibility of fast running zombies ( A'LA 28days later , Dawn of the Dead 2004, ) vs. the slow moving zombies ( A'LA Dawn of the Dead 1978, Zombie 2, Shaun of the dead..etc.). It came down to a fundamental disagreement related to whether the “thing” was dead or alive… To cut to the chase..I have my opinions…others have theirs ... Zombies can and will run at full speed and chew up your ass… period.
I was then questioned about how a zombie could run when there was no pulse… I had told this fresh from college, pie eyed, know-it-all to go watch 28 days later and you will see… Those Mutha F’rs can jump, run, spew contaminated blood on you… the works… definitely not something you should mess with…. If you’re gonna f’ around with zombies.. you should pick the slow moving ones… or at least the fast moving ones that have had their legs torn/blown off… They have to be on the ground without legs… don’t think that the fast zombies in wheel chairs are slow.. Those bastards are F’n quick..
So….let’s call him “Sean”... came back with his critic (not having the ballz to actually watch the documentary…) “My brother and his girlfriend met Danny Boyle this weekend and asked him if the "infected" from 28 days later were zombies and he said "no". Can you believe it… like they had met Danny Boyle… “They are zombies…” I said.. “they are not living people with an infection… they are infected… they die… and then the turn into zombies…” I pushed on… “They’re REALLY FAST RUNNING ZOMBIES!!! THAT EAT PEOPLE!!! AND THEY’RE OUT THERE!!!! BE CAREFUL!!!!!”
Sean writes back “If the director said they aren't zombies, they aren't zombies. Perhaps he made the decision to not call them zombies so that they could run really fast.”
So…. NOW he thinks he knows what the director thinks… So I had to drop the big one…. “Sean…you see…what you don’t know…”I said… “is that the director ( Danny Boyle…. We called him Danny Boy’ in school… good guy…)… changed his mind about the zombie issue after the ratings people from the studio weighed in… You see… Garland ( writer), Boyle and I were having lunch one day… let’s see….must have been back in 2002… we were down in LA on a junket of some sort…. I think is was American Pie 2…. I was a stand in for Chris Klein…”
“Anyways… we were finishing up lunch and were spotted by one of those dreadful ratings people… you know the ones.. well… she mentions that if they ( the studio) had been reviewing the daily’s and were concerned about depicting the “undead” as zombies… or “undead zombies”… it would be more favorable to see them as living…but with a flesh craving virus…”
“The story drolls on until Danny Boy caves and says he’ll change the premise. All along noting to the insiders that there is no reason that undead zombies cannot run fast.. just because Old Hollywood showed them slowly walking due to camera and studio restraints…doesn’t require today’s films to be “strapped with the baggage of the past”.
Seeing that he’d met his match… that he’d completely underestimated my vast experiences…. He smugly responded…”I'd love to believe that you had lunch with Danny Boyle but I am sure that if the story were true I would have heard about it before now.”. Can you F’n BELIVE THIS GUY!!! WTF….!
I think I might be off my meds again..
I was then questioned about how a zombie could run when there was no pulse… I had told this fresh from college, pie eyed, know-it-all to go watch 28 days later and you will see… Those Mutha F’rs can jump, run, spew contaminated blood on you… the works… definitely not something you should mess with…. If you’re gonna f’ around with zombies.. you should pick the slow moving ones… or at least the fast moving ones that have had their legs torn/blown off… They have to be on the ground without legs… don’t think that the fast zombies in wheel chairs are slow.. Those bastards are F’n quick..
So….let’s call him “Sean”... came back with his critic (not having the ballz to actually watch the documentary…) “My brother and his girlfriend met Danny Boyle this weekend and asked him if the "infected" from 28 days later were zombies and he said "no". Can you believe it… like they had met Danny Boyle… “They are zombies…” I said.. “they are not living people with an infection… they are infected… they die… and then the turn into zombies…” I pushed on… “They’re REALLY FAST RUNNING ZOMBIES!!! THAT EAT PEOPLE!!! AND THEY’RE OUT THERE!!!! BE CAREFUL!!!!!”
Sean writes back “If the director said they aren't zombies, they aren't zombies. Perhaps he made the decision to not call them zombies so that they could run really fast.”
So…. NOW he thinks he knows what the director thinks… So I had to drop the big one…. “Sean…you see…what you don’t know…”I said… “is that the director ( Danny Boyle…. We called him Danny Boy’ in school… good guy…)… changed his mind about the zombie issue after the ratings people from the studio weighed in… You see… Garland ( writer), Boyle and I were having lunch one day… let’s see….must have been back in 2002… we were down in LA on a junket of some sort…. I think is was American Pie 2…. I was a stand in for Chris Klein…”
“Anyways… we were finishing up lunch and were spotted by one of those dreadful ratings people… you know the ones.. well… she mentions that if they ( the studio) had been reviewing the daily’s and were concerned about depicting the “undead” as zombies… or “undead zombies”… it would be more favorable to see them as living…but with a flesh craving virus…”
“The story drolls on until Danny Boy caves and says he’ll change the premise. All along noting to the insiders that there is no reason that undead zombies cannot run fast.. just because Old Hollywood showed them slowly walking due to camera and studio restraints…doesn’t require today’s films to be “strapped with the baggage of the past”.
Seeing that he’d met his match… that he’d completely underestimated my vast experiences…. He smugly responded…”I'd love to believe that you had lunch with Danny Boyle but I am sure that if the story were true I would have heard about it before now.”. Can you F’n BELIVE THIS GUY!!! WTF….!
I think I might be off my meds again..
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